To Feed has a new domain now!

It's now http://michelle-chin.com. :)

Fin?

You won't be hearing that much from this blog. Someday, when I've found the right things to say, someday, I might return to this spot again...

pascere.tumblr.com

Someday, you'll find her again.

Anonymous speaks on my behalf.

You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else. If you blame others for your failures, do you credit them with your success?


Despite the simplicity of such a statement, despite it all...

She's a rich girl.

Would you treat me differently if I were to dress differently?

As usual, my parents and I were engaged in some conversation while taking a ride back home from a place where we would go and eat fish head for breakfast. This time, I was prattling about the things I saw in my mother's fashion magazine. I pointed out how Mango in Hong Kong is as expensive as DKNY and I wondered why. Then, my dad pointed out about how often I talked about fashion and even said that I am becoming increasingly conscious of what I am wearing.

I retorted that it is important to have some knowledge of what you're buying, regardless if it is tea, coffee and even wine ( We were talking about these things before segueing into the topic of fashion ) because it is better to be a consumer that is in-the-know because you don't want to be buying something that is not even worth the price. This is said after staying in Melbourne for two whole years without properly buying anything except for food and my recent shopping experience in Sungai Wang, which is reputed for having great bargains.

I dare say, nothing in Melbourne is exactly worth buying except if its sales merchandise. Most of the things I buy ( including the furniture at my lovely home in Melbourne ), is bought during when the Melbourne sales is at its peak. Even clothes. I rarely go shopping in Melbourne unless it is necessary. In my opinion, purchasing something from Supre is considered as expensive and not worth the price because I can get better things with the same price in Malaysia. Imagine, if a top is 30 AUD, I can get a nice, original priced, top from Zara with hand woven embellishments. And if I were to get a dress from Cue, I might as well buy a dress from BCBG!

And Sungai Wang, the other day, I had the worst shopping experience in Sungai Wang. During the height of my puberty, I often buy clothes from Sungai Wang because it is pointless to buy something so expensive and not being able to wear it after few months later. But now, it is a completely different story. Not only that most of the clothes there are sold at exorbitant prices ( RM 60 for a metre of dyed cotton ) but the cheap ones have no sizes AND YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRY THEM ON. I mean, what do you mean by you can't try them on? Okay, it's only RM 25 and you're not suppose to complain because it's cheap but isn't this a form of cheating? It's either you pay expensive or you pay cheap but not get to try it. If this is so, I rather wait for the sales at MNG because good quality tees are going as low as RM 30 and best of all, you get to try them ( Despite the long queue at the fittings and rather ferocious women at the railings ).

Having said this, however, does not necessary mean that I'm growing increasingly materialistic. I will always remember what a friend of mind has told me: A bag is just a bag. For me, if you can afford you it, get it for yourself. If you can't, then don't think of it. While most people judge you for what you wear, seriously, I think it's not important. I think it's ridiculous to do something like that. Relationships can never last if it is based on something so superficial. Admiration for another's taste, of course, it is acceptable. On the other hand, jealously and discrimination, which is widespread in the society, is not something that I can tolerate easily. I know people who discriminate others because they do not own expensive things but what is the meaning of expensive? What is the meaning of rich?

I know people who are live in mansions but are frugal when it comes to good food. I know people who are not willing to pay for their kid's education yet spend a bomb on their Rolex. Yet, everyone envies such people and aspires to be like them someday. Yes, I did once dream of such things. When you were once a kid, did you not dream of having a piece of the world or being the second Bill Gates? But as I grow up, I realize that these things are not important. Although I still desire certain things, I don't live to desire or live to be desired. I certainly don't care if you bathe yourself with Gucci or use Lux soaps ( I kinda like the smell still ). For me, sincerity is important and sincerity is priceless. I just hope for sincerity because it is something you really cannot buy.
In this increasingly materialistic ( people often confuse this with realisitc ) society, sincerity is almost extinct. Everyone is chasing after something: fame, wealth, whatever nonsense is it. But ask yourself, is life about being rich? What is the use of being rich if you're morally poor? Then again, what is the meaning of moral for most?

“A woman who has no way of expressing herself and of realizing herself as a full human being has nothing else to turn to but the owning of material things” -Erinquetta Longaeux-Vasquez.

Misceallaneous

The more I write, the more I feel that I am being judged for what I write. Despite me not having much readers, I feel that everything that I type here, on this blank slate, will be read by someone, will be scrutinized by someone and such thoughts, are scary. The feeling of being able to share a part of what happens ( even the most mundane things ) gives me a good feeling. It's therapeutic. But, as I grow up, as reality dawns upon me, even the most mundane things, can turn itself upon me. I have to be crafty with words. I have to be careful to not offend.

There are many things I can write but - it's filled with buts. The consequences are too hard for me and I do not have much strength left to deal with this.

Some day perhaps I will find the words to write.